Almost Hits: The Kinks - Celluloid Heroes (1972)

My wife and I have been watching Turner Classic Movies more than we usually do lately. Just a few nights ago we watched Sunset Boulevard (1950) starring Gloria Swanson and William Holden. It's about a washed-up, silent screen actress, Norma Desmond - played by Swanson - who can't come to terms with the fact her career is over. She lives in a dark, fantasy world where she's still a star.

A down-on-his-luck screenwriter, Joe Gillis (Holden) - whom Desmond both torments and falls in love with - tells the former star, "You used to be big." Her famous reply: "I am big. It's the pictures that got small."

The film reminded me of one of the great lyrical conquests of the Classic Rock era, The Kinks' "Celluloid Heroes." It's a single from their 1972 LP, Everybody's In Show-Biz, that didn't chart but still made an impact among devoted music and movie fans. Album-oriented radio stations mostly played the superior LP version that runs 6:19, approximately two minutes longer than the 45 RPM. Neither composer Ray Davies nor The Kinks ever put a better song on vinyl.

Davies was inspired to write "Celluloid Heroes" by the many stars he saw embedded on Hollywood Boulevard's Walk of Fame. His thoughtful lyrics generate a lot of emotions that complement a gentle, pleasing melody and arrangement.

The lyrical centerpiece of the song is the line "Celluloid heroes never feel any pain and celluloid heroes never really die." Those words hit me hard every time I see an old movie star still so vibrant and alive on film who is no longer with us.

The line "Don't tread on dearest Marilyn because she's not very strong" is the antithesis of her onscreen personality and so accurate. Also mentioned are actors Bette Davis, George Sanders, Greta Garbo, Mickey Rooney, Bela Lugosi, and Rudolph Valentino. Composer Davies is able to convince us that he knew these stars intimately even though he never met them.

While many important and famous people from the past such as Cleopatra, Henry VIII, Leonardo da Vinci, Christopher Columbus, George Washington, Ben Franklin and Abraham Lincoln are well known to us none of them seem alive today. There are paintings, busts, and photographs of these individuals and even their own writings, yet they all feel like the historical figures they really are. Many of the film greats from Hollywood's golden era who have passed on continue to walk, talk, sing, dance, laugh and cry in movies today, but after you listen to "Celluloid Heroes" reality sets in. That is what makes the song so very, very sad.

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Almost Hits is an occasional exploration into songs that failed to reach the top #20 on the American Billboard Hot 100. Many have become classics despite what their chart position would indicate.